Motoboy Sao Paulo

As most of you know, my Mom just spent some time with us here in Sao Paulo, although in reality, we spent much of our time out of the city. We traveled to the beach and then the mountains. When in the city, we drove from North to South and spent hours in a traffic jam on the way to airport. My Mom didn't seem too fazed by all the crazy traffic, moving through the city streets without rules or reason. It wasn't until our final hours, that she seemed to be concerned....the MOTO BOYS finally got to her. As those of us in cars sat inching along the Marginal and then the Dutra, the Moto Boys zipped between us at normal posted speeds, beep beeping to let the motorists know that changing lanes wasn't advised. After keeping an eye on the side view for an hour or so, Mom finally concluded, that if she had to sit in this traffic day after day, she'd probably drive a motorcycle too. Yes, she too saw the many advantages to being a MotoBoy.

Here are a few that come to mind:

Reason #1- You automatically belong to a club(gang) that will immediately come to your aid should you need defense. Most minor fender benders involving Motoboys go unreported. It's safest just to drive away and pay for the damage they've inflicted on your vehicle.

Reason #2- There are few traffic laws that apply to you. You are able to drive between lanes, hop onto sidewalks, weave through stopped traffic, kick vehicles that are in your way, run red lights, park where ever there's room, turn any direction from any lane. Note: most of these apply to car drivers too, so the smaller the car, the more you can drive like a Motoboy.

Reason #3- You can easily peer into vehicles to evaluate whether there's anything of value or easily accessible to steal. Just point your fake gun to demand the occupant roll down the window and proceed to take what you want, or simply smash the window with your concealed hammer and pick through the glass for valuables. This is why many expats have tinted windows that we don't dare to roll down.

Reason #4 - Being an "ambulance chaser" is a perk of your job. It's your lucky day when an ambulance needs to get through traffic. Just follow behind like a parade procession and make your way through the parting sea of cars. Sadly, the ambulance is often heading to aid one of your fellow gang members who wasn't having such a lucky day.

Reason #5- Real men CAN wear pink... helmets anyway. As a Motoboy, brown isn't the new black, pink is. I'm not sure if this is a fashion trend, a trick to get an edge on your male competition, or if the Motoboy bike shop just a had a clearance sale on pink helmets.

All in all, driving a motorcycle of any kind, for any reason in this city requires a certain crazy gene. You're literally putting your life on the line, in between lanes, and sometimes face down on the pavement. I keep trying to talk my ten year old son into creating a video game called "Motoboy Sao Paulo". That'd be the only way I'd drive through this city without a couple of tons of steel between me and open air.

In a final note, and a little more seriously, I've personally seen three dead Motoboys laying in the road in the time we've lived here. It's really very sad because in reality, these "boys" are working...delivering, messaging, couriering. They have a place here in this busy city and dead in the road isn't it.

Yes, I let them by, fold in my mirrors to give them more room, and check and re-check like a crazy woman before I change lanes. I curse then, envy them, and pray my son never wants to ride a motorcycle, other than the virtual kind. After living here, I don't think I'd be a happy MotoMama in any country.

Portuguese word of the post: "pare"-meaning stop, as on a STOP sign. In reality, a stop sign is just a "heads up" to warn "if someone needs to stop, that person would be you".It's more like, check to be sure it's clear and then GO....fast.