Happy Birthday to Me

Today I did something selfish. I also did something that David would never agree with. I gave myself a gift that was intended for someone else, two "someone elses" actually . Quite honestly, I took presents from children and used them to my advantage.

Today is Sunday and both kids have Birthday invitations for later. Both parties start at noon and end at four and are in different parts of the city. Lucky for me, in Brazil, start times are suggestions, so being late isn't considered rude, it's considered normal. I'm sure Americans are some of the only people on time around here.

Last night, I thought really hard about the best way to get both kids to their parties, stay with Camryn, and then get Aidan after his party ended. The plan- drop Aidan on time, go with Camryn late, leave with Camryn early and pick up Aidan a little late.

Yesterday we went to the overpriced toy store at the mall and chose gifts that would be acceptable, had them gift wrapped, and only spent $R190.00, the equivalent of $120 US dollars on two $20.00 toys, a nerf gun and a Polly Pocket play set. This was not the original plan, but David's work trip was extended and the suitcase full of toys is stuck with him.

After awakening this morning at 4:30am I realized I had a more serious logistics problem. the day I have to take Aidan to school early and pick him up late for a field trip, is also the day that my driving hours are restricted. The Birthday party relay didn't seem like such a big deal anymore.

When the kids got up, we made French toast and ate breakfast with the Birthday presents piled on the dining room table taunting us with the party plans later. The kids were excited, but I was dreading the cross town marathon.

Then an idea crossed my mind. Maybe I could bribe the kids into not going to their parties, but it was going to a hard sell, or so I thought. Camryn immediately took the bait and was ripping into the Polly Pocket before Aidan could even think about his decision. And then Aidan too disclosed that he really wasn't that thrilled about being dropped off at the party in the first place. Maybe my Mother's intuition was telling me we might all be better off staying home or maybe the kids were just missing their American toys so much that they'd rather sacrifice four hours of partying.

Either way, I'm breathing a sigh of relief. I feel I've been gifted a day of rest.

The kids already have their swimsuits on and are excited about spending some time just hanging at the pool. I'm excited that I don't have to brave the streets for one day and I don't think the Brazilian children will miss us one bit, but the $2500 Brazilian Birthday Parties with over 100 guests, are a whole new post.

The Great Flood (of the week...maybe)

Yesterday was my Birthday, a day to be celebrated, kisses in the morning and cake after dinner (a dinner I didn't cook). At least that's how it should have been. Instead it was a day of strife.

It started in the wee hours of the morning , awakening to David wishing me Happy Birthday(NOT). Instead he woke me to tell me he would be flying to Alabama to resolve some outstanding audit issues ON MY BIRTHDAY. I couldn't sleep for all the plans I had to cancel and all the Birthday wishes that weren't going to come true. The selfish child in me kept me awake most of the night.

On the bright side, my relaxing day of sunning and reading by the pool would go on, so the it wasn't a total loss. There was only one glitch- the sun decided not to shine. I guess the weeks of unending sunshine had to end, so why not ON MY BIRTHDAY? Well at least I could read, if I didn't have this obsessive personality that doesn't let me relax in my own house unless everything is done. So basically I spent the day as any other, cleaning, doing laundry, and scrubbing grout.

Thankfully David still had not given on saving some part of the plan and vowed to take us out to dinner before his flight. Thankfully, I have had enough experience with broken promises courtesy of Visteon, that I had a meal ready to prepare in case of emergency.

Sure enough, as four o'clock came and went with no word from David, I trudged downstairs to collect the kids from the bus. As I reached the ground floor, I realized that what had been a gloomy sky, now looked downright threatening in the distance, but thankfully a ways off. What should have a five minute wait for the children turned into 15, then 30. Thunder rumbled and a light rain began to fall. Time to call the bus company to see if all was well. Time to discover that the elevator was not working. Time to realize I was now locked out of the apartment (along with a crowd of other residents who were also locked out).

Before there was time to worry further about the elevator, the sky opened up, and Niagra Falls was rerouted to Sao Paulo, Brazil and we were all on Maids of Mist on the deluxe tour. As I strained to watch for the bus (which is actually a small VW van), I noticed the debri rushing down the street. Within minutes, the street was no longer visible and a rapid river took its' place. Whole bags of garbage, cardboard, small trees, litter, and all else not secured rushed past, while thunder boomed and lightening lit the sky. I even saw a very tiny car parked on the curb, lift up and move forward into the car in front of it. I was terrified for the kids, but more afraid to leave my watch in case they made it home.

After 20 minute of the hardest rain I've ever seen, the little bus creeped down the river and stopped in front of the building. Now to get the kids to safety. I had already rolled up my pants and had on flip flops. In a blur of screaming children, a panicked bus driver, two feet of rushing water, and minus one Haviana (which was ripped off my foot in the current), we finally made it safely into the gate and up to the apartment via the now fixed elevator (thank God for small favors).

Camryn was so upset, she couldn't stop crying. I was so mad over losing one of my new overpriced Havianas, and Aidan thought the whole experience was awesome.

The icing on the cake (that I didn't have), was that David had to take several detours to get around the flood damage and barely had time to kiss us goodbye before heading to the airport.

Apparently these flooding rains aren't unusual and I've just been lucky enough to have been safe inside when they've hit.

So I guess yesterday brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "It was a wash", because my Birthday truly was, literally.

Little League Brazilian Style

Today we attended our first Little League Saturday, organized and sponsored by The American Society of Sao Paulo. It was nothing like we expected, but so much more. First of all, the only day we meet for Little league is Saturday. There are no practices during the week. There are no week night games. Furthermore, there are no teams.

Really, what Little League is in Sao Paulo, is in my opinion what sports should be for kids under age 12, a chance to play with their friends, develop their skills, practice teamwork, engage in good sportsmanship and get some exercise, all while the parents spend time visiting, socializing, and enjoying each others company.

We arrived at The Graded School (the American school in Sao Paulo) and children and parents were all dressed like they were ready to play a sport. They called the kids to the field and the parents started to walk/run around the school track. The kids who signed up for flag football were from 6-12 years of age and ranged from about 2 feet to 6 feet in height, yet they all warmed up together, did drills together and broke off into two teams. Although it sounds like it wouldn't work, amazingly it did. After a fun scrimmage, the age groups were broken part and they got down to more difficult skill drills for the older kids.

In the meantime, the parents visited, exercised, and spoke English.

They also had high school students there to play with the younger siblings so the parents had the freedom to talk and relax. We didn't see Camryn for the entire hour and a half. David and I actually had an uninterrupted conversation.

It was the perfect way to spend the morning.

I have to admit, I really didn't want to sign up for Little League when the opportunity presented itself. I just didn't want the drama and the stress of games won and lost, trying to get to practice and hang out with parents who take sports a little too seriously.

Instead, we all seemed happy to sacrifice our Saturday morning, to spend time with people in the same boat, who find comfort in the normalcy of the Little League we left behind, even if it's in name only. And there's nothing like the sound of kids having a good time, no matter what language it's in.

Security Blanket

Although it's only been 7 days since my last post, I feel I'm 7 months closer to normal.

As some of you who follow Facebook know, the transition into full day school for Camryn has been tough. She loves the school, but she loves her Mommy more and would rather follow me around for eight hours watching me do chores, exercise, blog, shower, cook...anything as long as she can see me.

It broke my heart put her on the bus while she feigned a stomachache and clung to my leg. It killed me to pry her away and watch the bus drive off with her lip quivering. Then I had an idea, but first a little personal information.

For those who love her most (as you're the only ones she allows in on her little secret) Camryn has two vices- a blankie and an Abhu. It's pretty obvious what Blankie is and Abhu is a name she uses for her pacifier. Yes, Camryn will be five in May and I still allow her to have her pacifier. There are a lot of reasons for that and I take full blame for her love of Abhu.

Foremost, when I've attempted to remove Abhu from our lives, I've found Camryn sucking her thumb. If I (or any dental professional) had to choose, they'd say the pacifier will cause less damage to her teeth, so Abhu it is. But more importantly, I see a calm and comfort come over Camryn when she's allowed to have her Blankie and Abhu, a calm and comfort it's hard to maintain when you move your kids to a new place every couple of years.

So back to the idea. What was the idea? (and now that I think about it, it was really Camryn's suggestion).

Let her take Blankie and Abhu in her back pack to school. Magic! She stopped crying and started talking about why she was scared to go to school. Just the security of knowing she would be able to have her prized possessions, helped her overcome her fear and open up to me about the true problem, kinda like a psychologist building up trust until a patient feels safe enough to talk. I found out it wasn't school she dreaded, it was the bus ride home. Her exhausted little self just couldn't handle the one hour long SCARY bus ride through Sao Paulo. Now, with Blankie to sniff and Abhu to suck, she falls asleep before they even leave the school. Problem solved (and I don't get a completely grabby child off the bus anymore)

The state of feeling safe and secure is one that is hard to find in the third biggest city in the world. We live among 20 million people, trying to find that peace of mind amidst a city that is known the world over for it's crime.

I discovered in myself, that I too need my security blanket. As the days and weeks have passed by, I can feel a sense of serenity building in my daily life. Everyday tasks are becoming easier, faces in the neighborhood are becoming familiar, the sounds of the city are becoming white noise, and I finally know where I am when I open my eyes in the morning.

I realized that people I care about, and people who care about me are my security blanket. That's not something I could pack in a box and ship to Brazil, but it is something I can create here in Sao Paulo.

On Friday night, we met another American family for dinner at a local pizza place. We sat and talked until the children fell asleep. As we were walking out, we ran into someone else we knew from the Newcomers group. She introduced us to her family. On Saturday, we went to the American school to sign the kids up for Little League and were greeted with hugs and kisses from another friend I met at Newcomers the week before. We were introduced to more people. On Tuesday, my oldest (not in age) friend in Sao Paulo and I met my other friend for lunch and shopping and she brought another friend. On Wednesday, my friend came over to lay by the pool. This morning I went to the fruit fair and was greeted by my regular vendors as "their favorite American". They knew who I was. In 7 days, I've knitted a decent size piece of my security blanket.

If this move has taught me one thing so far, it is this. All the anxiety I felt about packing up our house, what was being shipped "sea" vs. "air", was our furniture going to look right, how would I hang my art work on those concrete walls, did we have the right clothes with us. It really wasn't important. What I really needed to survive was sitting right next to me on the plane, my little piece of the bigger security blanket I had to leave behind.

So when I put Camryn on the bus with her back pack bulging with Blankie and Abhu in the pocket, I understand. If only we all could feel safe by breathing in the smell of our childhood blanket or the softness of twirling our hair (Aidan). I feel lucky that I find my peace in the love (and loving) of others. There's no additional baggage fees and I can take it anywhere.

As old and wise as I am, I think Aidan was years ahead of me as I recall something he told me when he was five. To best of my recollection it went like this.

"Mom, I had a lot of friends in Indiana and I would have a million more if we stayed there forever, but then all my friends would be in one place. But the more places we live, the more places I'll have friends. Then I'll have friends everywhere I go." Thank goodness for Skype.

The last two days, Camryn came home from school and was so proud that she didn't take Blankie out once. "That's great!" I told her, feeling happy that she was finally feeling more safe. "And guess what Mommy? I made a friend. Her name is Sophia. She's really nice and she loves me". I think Camryn's working on a new security blanket too. I have a feeling it's going to look just like mine.

In honor of Valentine's Day, this post is dedicated to my most treasured security blanket, my Husband David. From the moment I met him, I knew he would protect me from harm. Not a day has passed since, that I haven't felt safe and secure.

Trials and Tribulations

Yesterday, my fellow newcomer friend and I had made a plan to attend the International Newcomers Club monthly coffee. I bravely volunteered to drive us, knowing it was near St Francis and in a very good neighborhood. Her husband was kind enough to drop her off at the apartment and off we went. I was pretty proud of myself as we drove into morning rush hour with the GPS on hand , but navigating from memory.

Not only did we make it safely, but we arrived early, (mistake #1, we parked the car ourselves instead of using valet, as the parking lot was empty) had a cup of coffee in the swanky coffee bar and made our way to the meeting. The get togehter was very well worth attending, as we both made several contacts with fellow expats in our respective neighborhoods. After the meeting was over, we took advantage of the attached gourmet grocery store and visited with several English speaking woman as we shopped.

As all the ladies were waiting for the valet line, we popped our purchases in the trunk and cruised fairy easily from the lot and headed toward Villa Lobos Mall, our next shopping destination.

"Well, we made it. " I said proudly, feeling that the drive to the mall was a direct shot down the freeway and it is my regular stomping grounds. (mistake #2, never count your eggs until they're hatched). I saw the freeway sign ahead and before it could register, the car was jolted by two loud pops. What just happened? It sounded like we blew a tire. No we didn't blow a tire, we blew TWO tires, both on the passenger side. Here we were in a very busy business district of Sao Paulo, about to hit the freeway, and we were stranded. Thankfully, David had told that if anything ever happened, leave the car, get to safety, and call the number in the glove box.

Luckily for us, we were no more than a half mile from the meeting place and could easily walk back from the car. Unlucky for us, my cell phone would not dial out (mistake #3, if you know you're cell phone isn't working fully, do not drive). Knowing there was a chance some fellow English speakers with working cell phones would still be lingering, we quickly walked back to the venue). Sure enough, we found a friend, who not only lent us her phone, she also called for us, in her much more advanced Portuguese and got the ball rolling with Brazil's version of AAA. In the meantime, the car was sitting in the road, hazards on, hoping to avoid further disaster.

After a few more phone calls on the grocery store phone, I managed in my minimal Portuguese to verify our location, determine they were sending a "platform" (a tow truck) and request a taxi, which all happened within a very efficient hour.

When it was all said and done, two things left us perplexed. Why did two tires on the same side of the car blow out and why (after going back with the tow truck) would the car not start? It was cranking fine, but sounded like it was choking and sputtering. Speculation from the New comers was that someone had tampered with the car (reference back to mistake #1).

It's one of those experiences, that later, leave you laughing at the seriousness of it and feeling grateful that it turned out so well. It couldn't have been worse and it couldn't have been better. I've never had such a bad mishap with a car, yet we couldn't have been in a better situation regarding when and where it happened. We were close to a familiar and safe place and we had English speakers there to help us out.

Needless to say, we never made it to the mall and I'm now without a car again. David's company is working to get me one quickly, but quite frankly, I don't really care right now. On the other hand, I feel the worst case scenario has happenend to me, so why not get back on the horse? Thank God I had a calm grown-up with me and not two scared kids. Maybe there's something to be said about not driving myself around Sao Paulo. Not because I can't do it, but because there are some things you just can't control. Maybe I just need to give up my independent ways and allow myself to be driven, my house to be cleaned, and my independent ways to be dampered.

One thing's for sure, Brazil is changing me. It's tearing me apart and putting me back together in a new way. That's what I wanted when I started this journey, but now I know what they mean when they say "be careful what you wish for". Today I need some building up, so I'm staying close to where my heart is, at home.

Tomorrow, I'm sure I'll be ready to fight through the fear and venture out into the city again.

Afterall, its' skyline is my backyard and nothing will fence me in.

25 steps of Grocery Shopping (not including the shopping).

Yesterday I had the pleasure of going to the grocery store ALONE for the first time since we arrived in Brazil. I was really a little nervous about all that could go wrong. This is why.

TO THE MARKET AND BACK IN SAO PAULO, BRAZIL

1. Get all the keys needed to safely leave the apartment (service door keys, shopping basket keys, car keys).

2. Call the elevator and wait.

3. Exit on floor (-2), the lowest level of underground parking.

4. Drive to garage door and use opener #2 to open.

5. Drive into "holding pen" and wait for door #1 to close.

6. Wait for guard to open door #2.

7. Drive through crazy traffic to the store (only 5 minutes away).

8. Turn into parking lot and press button for ticket.

9. Shop, checkout, stop and ticket validated.

10. Proceed to exit and scan ticket to lift gate.

11. Drive back to apartment.

12. Approach building and hit button #2 to alert guard.

13. Wait for gate to open and proceed into holding pen.

14. Wait for gate #2 to close and press opener #1 to open garage door.

15. Park car.

16. Take "cart key" to shopping cart, insert key, turn to release cart.

17. Load cart with groceries and call the Service elevator.

18. Take elevator to apartments service entrance, unlock, and push cart inside.

19. Unload groceries and call service elevator.

20. Lock service door and go back down to (-2) to return cart.

21. Replace cart and release cart key.

22. Call either "service elevator" or "social elevator".

23. Take Elevator to apartment and either unlock door or enter code to exit elevator.

24. Unpack groceries.

25. Hope you haven't lost any keys, locked keys in car, or left anything unlocked.