The Help

I've always liked to blog about topics that relate to current events, which has been a little hard now that we're living in Brazil, but the hot topic on FB this week seems to be the opening of "The Help" at theaters. I read the book a few years ago and put it my short list as being one of my favorites. I too would be anxious to see the movie and probably sorely disappointed that it didn't equal the book.

When I read the book, sitting at the pool at Hard Rock Hotel in Orlando, I never thought I'd be able to relate my life to it in any way. Yet here I sit today in my living room in Brazil, listening to my Help sing Brazilian gospel music as she hangs the laundry to dry.

My Helps name in Terezinha. She speaks zero English. We communicate by gesturing, Google translate, my bad Portuguese and occasionally my good friend Jennifer as translator. Terezinha spends two days a week at my apartment from 7:30am to 4pm. She gets paid about $100 us dollars a week and is very happy to be here. Me on the other hand, am just getting used to the idea of having another person in my space, touching our things, washing our underwear and cleaning up our messes.

When we came to Brazil, I was adamant that I didn't want any help. Little did I know that having help in Brazil is much more a social status requirement than an indication of whether you can handle your own household chores. I really thought I was going to be one of the rare expats that didn't hire a maid. I also thought I'd be able to keep this apartment clean on my own. What I didn't know, was the amount of grime living in a polluted city did to every surface in your house, how different all the cleaning products were, and how much pressure David was getting at work regarding the expectations of contributing to the Brazilian economy.

After weeks of dirty feet, dull floors, and encouragement from Visteon, we were finally placed with Terezinha, a transfer from another Visteon employee that was leaving Brazil.

She came to us with lots of things she wouldn't do and I accepted her with no expectations. My philosophy is still that any work she does, is less work that I have to do. She has managed to remove a few years of dirt build-up, make the entire apartment gleam, and has now started to offer to do the things she once refused.

After six months, I've finally managed to live as normal when she's here and accept the man power that she provides. The hardest obstacle for me has been not feeling guilty that a 60 year old woman is working hard and I may be sitting down reading a book. What I keep being reminded of is how grateful she is to have this job and how the money she makes is actually considered a good salary in Sao Paulo.

The language barrier has been a little difficult, but has also been a blessing in keeping our relationship completely professional. I think if we easily talked about our lives, the poor woman would be stuck chatting with me half the day. As it is, she does her job as she sees fit and I go about my day like she's not here.

Just a few tidbits about domestic help in Brazil:

Terezinha is what they call a Diarista, meaning a "day maid". Day maids work no more than two days a week for the same family and are paid by the day for their services only. A maid that works more than two days is considered full-time, and as their employer, you are required by law to pay their taxes, re-imburse for transportation, provide lunch every day, and give paid vacations and holidays. As labor laws become more complicated and salaries increase with inflation, more and more Brazilians are employing day maids, although most Brazilians and expats I know employ their maids full time.

Any Help in Brazil is treated as such and are required to take a service elevator and use a service entrance into the residence. Most residences have a maid's room where the maid rests , eats and uses their own bathroom. This has been a hard practice for me to get used to. I've often invited Terezinha to lunch in the kitchen or dining room, but she insists on eating in her little room instead. I now realize she's comfortable in her place.

As I recall the civil rights movement in the book "The Help", I can't help but wonder when Terezinha won't be comfortable eating lunch in her little room or if she resents me now but keeps her mouth shut. These are things I'd like to talk about if I could speak Portuguese enough to understand her, not how I want my T-shirts folded. I already see the language changing on modern Brazilian floor plans. There are no longer "maid's" rooms, but "utility" areas. I hope in the future, a separate bathroom for the maid in Brazil, sounds as crazy as a separate drinking fountain for blacks in the US does.

I know I can't change this foreign world in a year or two, especially when I can't speak the language, but it does just take one voice and someone willing to listen. Until then, I'll just graciously enjoy the help and continue to invite her to eat in the dining room.