Big Business of Birthdays

Camryn's Tea Party 2010
Aidan's Water Park Sleep Over 2010

I remember Aidan's first birthday like it was yesterday. We had a house full of people, kids running everywhere, a "Lion" cake to go with the jungle theme, and LOTS of presents. After everyone went home, I looked around at the party aftermath, realized my sleeping son had no idea what had just happened, and decided that we wouldn't be doing this again until he was five. Five years later, we did it up again at the local bowling alley and the theme was "Hot Wheels".

Poor Camryn's first birthday was lost in the haze of my cancer and the side effects of my treatment, so she got her first big bash when she turned four, a tea party extravaganza in our back yard, with party tent and all.

My parties seemed very impressive, memorable, and a little over the top...until I moved to Brazil.

I'm sitting here looking at two invitations that Camryn brought home in the last couple of days. One is at a place called "Love Blankie", where the children will sew their own doll. The kids will be picked up on a private bus directly from school and taken to the party venue where the parents/drivers will pick them up at 7pm. The other is for twins and will be held at their apartments building's "Party Room". This one is on a Thursday from 3:30 till 7:30. Each of these parties will be professionally catered, with the "sweets" table as the major attraction (think elaborate wedding size cake surrounded by dozens of Brazilian sugar laden favorites, including brigadiero, a chocolate goo covered with chocolate sprinkles). Most parties have professional entertainers or are held at a themed party venue designed to entertain the kids. These parties can cost anywhere from $3000 to $10,000 dollars and are given to the child on each and every birthday. At Aidan's age, I've even heard of groups of children being flown to Aspen on the families private plane for a weekend of skiing or bussed to a remote adventure resort for zip-lining, white water rafting, and luxury camping.

We've declined most of these invites because when I asked the kids whose party it was, they didn't even know the child. Here, every child in the class is invited to almost every party. We've received six invites in one week. Secondly, these parties are held at very strange times for American standards. Parties for five year olds, after school, ending at 10pm? Yes. Parties on Sundays from 2-8 pm? Yes. Lastly, we've declined many because I wasn't comfortable leaving the kids with strangers and I didn't want to sit and wait with all the drivers and nannies. Yes, I am sometimes the only parent in attendance, other than the hosts.

To say we won't be having one of these parties ourselves is expected. To say I've finally gotten over my hang-ups about the times, the locations, and the craziness is true. I've actually decided to budget the large dollar amount we have to spend on gifts here (about $40-$60 us dollars per child) into the school expenses for the year. I'm going to let Aidan and Camryn enjoy the festivities and stop worrying about trying to keep up with the Brazilians.

I know one thing, I owe my kids a BIG bash when we get back to States to make up for their lost years here. I'm thinking Cirque de Soleil on a giant floating barge in the lake, or maybe flying 50 of their closet friends to Disney World for the weekend.

Today I'm grateful that gifts bought from the local "Toys R Us", wrapped with the gift receipt visible (for easy returns) are considered reasonable, customary and expected. After all, it's the thought that counts.