Freedom

Today of all days, freedom is in the front of our minds. We think of the armed forces with gratitude and remember family members who played a part in the liberation of our nation. Most even think how lucky they are to live in a country where they feel safe.

This Memorial Day I'm forced to look at things a little differently. We're not outside ushering in Summer with a BBQ or attending main street parades. Today I'm in Sao Paulo, Brazil and it's just Monday. We're entering into Fall and aren't allowed to have a grill on our terrace. The sun is shining and I can hear the kids at the school behind my apartment playing on recess.

If I get up and look outside, I can even see them. I can see them over the razor wire topped wall that surrounds their school and almost every school I've seen. This is not a country where people feel safe.

We also live in a walled complex, as does almost every Brazilian with the means to afford it. Here, it's not a strong military and a government that keeps you safe, it's money and the fortresses it allows you to build. When David's company was helping us to find a place to live in Sao Paulo, they wouldn't lease us a house in the city. A house in the city means less security between and the crime. At the time, I was resentful we couldn't have a backyard, but I've since come to be grateful for my walled, patrolled, 24 hour security building. I sleep at night feeling safe.

But I don't live every day feeling free. Like a war zone, you never know where the next attack may happen or who the enemy is. People are mugged every day at gunpoint, car windows are broken out at stop lights, and everyone is a target. I used to love my morning runs in the States, but here I've gotten used to the monotony of the treadmill. Every move I make outside my complex is thought out. Which lane I drive in, if I'm first in the line at the stoplight, where I park in the secured lots. I made the mistake of parking near the bus stop is the other day at the mall and realized I had increased my chances of being a victim.

When people ask how we like Brazil, we all answer positively except for Aidan. He, more than any of us is feeling his loss of freedom the most. He can't run the neighborhood like he used to. He really can't even hang out around the apartment complex due to strict rules. This city is not a fun place for a blond, 9 year old boy who needs to explore. Fortunately children aren't typically targets here. They usually don't carry much of value for these criminals looking for a quick buck.

I remember watching news coverage of the Iraq war and being amazed that people were still going about their business with bombs exploding in the distance. Now I get it. You build up an immunity to the danger and it starts to feel normal. Expats say the first trip back to the States is the hardest, because it's the first time you realize how much energy all that "paying attention" takes.

Well today I have a wicked head cold and I'm not quite my sharp self, so even though we need eggs and bread, we'll do without until tomorrow when my brain is clearer. It's just not smart to put yourself out there when you're not focussing with all cylinders. This is a day when that hired driver would come in handy. Or maybe the driver and the body guard like many Brazilians have.

So as you enjoy your three day weekend, I hope you'll take a minute to enjoy your freedom today, even if it's just the freedom to drive yourself around with your windows rolled down. There are many places in this world where even that is a privilege. Feel the wind on your face and appreciate living in the USA.