Hands of Fate

I've spent two days searching for this rumpled piece of yellow legal pad paper. I always kept it in my lingerie drawer and was shocked when it wasn't there. The last time I read it was October of 2007 when we were packing to move to Alabama into the seventh house of our marriage. I'm desperate to read it once again, because the words came to me from a much bigger place.

I think the year was 2003. I had a twenty minute session with Bob Fontanive from Psychic Search. All the crazy ladies in my family thought it would be fun to have a party of sorts, hire a psychic, drink some wine, and find out about futures. Bob told us not to expect our fortunes, to write down as much of what he said as we could because much of it would make no sense, but it would someday.

This is what I remember to be written on my paper.

"Your son is very bright and will struggle with beautiful people in his life."

"You and your husband will be on the water and your children will be waving to you."

"You will not die of Cancer."

"You will visit South America for a long duration, not for pleasure, for business, within the next ten years."

This is why I want to find that paper. Each one of these statements has come to fruition, or at least I think they will after this week.

Aidan my son is extremely bright and the beauty will probably come at him in the form of girls some day.

I had waited for the water thing to happen and then realized it did when David and I were body boarding together and our friends were on shore with the kids waving. It was a day when David and I felt like kids again and was an AHA moment for me...have more fun in life.

I did have cancer and I survived.

Lastly, David is in Detroit today talking about an assignment in Sau Paulo, Brazil.

I want to hold that paper in my hands and read those words verbatim. I want to believe that what is written will happen. I want to go to Brazil and see my Husband achieve another major goal in his career. I want to show my kids that there's a big world out there and we're just a tiny speck on it. I'm ready for the challenge of overcoming language barriers, bureaucracy, and strange lands. My life has gotten too comfortable.

If we get the international assignment, you will be reading this. If we don't, I'll delete the blog and the daily grind will go on.

Some people believe that fate can be left in the hands of others. Some believe we control our own destiny. When I wrote the psychics notes all those years ago, I pictured myself standing on a beach, watching the surf, drinking from a coconut, my children's hands wrapped around my legs. I hope I sealed my fate that day, visualized my future. I hope my family will travel and learn together.... and I hope to share the entire experience on this blog.

Only the hands of time will tell.